conclusions.

I wish I could resurrect my innocence,
Feel the stratosphere wrap my spine so tight...
I'd never loose my backbone
Once again, keep my thoughts quite, timid....
Yellow planes spin in my mind,
Its unfortunate I cannot see where they came from.
(Tranquility should stop being my enemy...)

I'm locked in some submersion between now and then
And now is now
And then, well, I cant remember then
(Must have been my years of drug abuse...)

What was once a fluorescent light,
Can barely flicker at all-
Water floods my eyes as stiff as a brick wall
Leaks through the cracks of my walls
(Solidarity was never my strong suit)
Where my desires have hidden.

I envision my future
My wife
My children
And I can't hold it together.

My anxious thoughts crumbled (to the point of white noise.)
Merging the blacks with whites like some unruly static
I feel its crunch,
Hear its clicks and clacks
Spinning in my ear
Like some obnoxious ballad
(I fucking hate ballads...)
And though I might feel the anxious sting,
Creeping
Buzzing

I refuse to soak in apathy's bubble bath-
So I'll remain dirty all the while...
And it’s the dirtiest if felt since being clean.

I stair in space.
Lunch break is over.
My breaks are over.