where the wild things are
i'll tell you where they are
where they lurk
climb into your thoughts
like some obscure kats cradle
holding
nesting
peering out
at night
black leather gloves
distressed flannel patches
stuck on their shirts
stuck on you
the wild things
that Reside
in your mind
in your arms
in your thoughts
teasing you
and she
and me
like some mind fuck
like some cheap
small
attempt
at
penetration
a petite drip
of fascination
in some hollow
rusty
loft
deep
in Brooklyn
off Metropolitan Avenue
the wild things
how I cherish
the wild things
so grotesque
so beautiful
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
casual encounter.
We sit here
Her and I
We want to touch
And we can't say much
And we can't do much
I don't even think we should try
Let our time stand still
We don't have much
We don't need much
So let's have the trees hold our secrets
And let the wind dances with our emotions
the sky covered our eyes
With its velvet ties
We were blinded
Sigh
We know its not real
We know we are not real
Right?
So we stay put
On this bench
She will have to go soon
Someone always has to go
Oh darlin'
It was really lovely meeting you
Bye for now.
Her and I
We want to touch
And we can't say much
And we can't do much
I don't even think we should try
Let our time stand still
We don't have much
We don't need much
So let's have the trees hold our secrets
And let the wind dances with our emotions
the sky covered our eyes
With its velvet ties
We were blinded
Sigh
We know its not real
We know we are not real
Right?
So we stay put
On this bench
She will have to go soon
Someone always has to go
Oh darlin'
It was really lovely meeting you
Bye for now.
one-eighty-six
In to my life swept up
Like dust do the morning streets
Wasn't concerned one could get the best of me
Stuck to hip is where I'd be
Before I'd known of departure
Maybe I was supposed to meet
On the day my friend and I had a feast of margaritas
Surrounded by our loved ones at the table
Maybe I was fancied
When asked to eat a bite of pizza,
(I had been too full of awe to say no...)
Attraction was merely challenge
Challenge and attraction began to dance
From one to five
From five to thirty
As and as we speckled the streets of the lower east side,
Admitted thought, one-
(too easy)
Admitted thought two-
(nervous laugh)
Easiest thing was saying hello
And maybe because after two
The phone rang
(fuck!)
Then voice was all I heard
Face was all I saw
(It has never been easy),
Thirty arrives
Passes quickly
Thirty one is gone
Why would I expect anything sort of proper?
(Hush)
I knew at twenty eight
Still walks about these streets
My Scumbag Streets
On twenty seven
On Twenty three
Nothing to see
But maybe
Maybe in
One-Eighty-Six.
Like dust do the morning streets
Wasn't concerned one could get the best of me
Stuck to hip is where I'd be
Before I'd known of departure
Maybe I was supposed to meet
On the day my friend and I had a feast of margaritas
Surrounded by our loved ones at the table
Maybe I was fancied
When asked to eat a bite of pizza,
(I had been too full of awe to say no...)
Attraction was merely challenge
Challenge and attraction began to dance
From one to five
From five to thirty
As and as we speckled the streets of the lower east side,
Admitted thought, one-
(too easy)
Admitted thought two-
(nervous laugh)
Easiest thing was saying hello
And maybe because after two
The phone rang
(fuck!)
Then voice was all I heard
Face was all I saw
(It has never been easy),
Thirty arrives
Passes quickly
Thirty one is gone
Why would I expect anything sort of proper?
(Hush)
I knew at twenty eight
Still walks about these streets
My Scumbag Streets
On twenty seven
On Twenty three
Nothing to see
But maybe
Maybe in
One-Eighty-Six.
routine.
Black. Gray. Black. Black. Never happy. black with black. Black flat shoes, no boots. Black boots. Brush teeth. Sent. wallet. keys. phone. call ex-girlfriend. Tell her you miss her. Tell yourself you’re just bored. lonely. Okay just call. No text- just fucking text. Call best friend. See you at 9. Whiskey yes. No? tequila yes. Bar? Yes. Done and done. Present. Hi, hi, goodbye. Hi. Hi. Ignore. Pause. Play. Rewind. [Wish could rewind]. [Wish could fast forward.] Stoned. Taco. Beer. Taco. Taco. Nacho. Whiskey found my money in pocket. Eye contact, good. Eye contact, bad. Eye contact, man. [typical] walk. Music. Bed.
foolish.
Hollow stairs
Behind the bend
Lost and found
Crush
Touch
Lust
Crushed
Appointed followed by the disappointed
at the masses
And her...
Fucked her
Now fuck her
Imperfections rapidly wash away debree
And left resides one
Count the hours by broken watch
Let's pray time stays this consistent
Slender leaks of moans
Stay stagnant in mind
Fair is for the free
And
Free just fucked fair
Who cares?
Done and done
Wake up with dreams
Sleep for reality
Serpent stings
In these walls
And when I fall
I'll fist the ground
And feel shame
Abused by amusing
Amused by abusing
Please just take me home.
I need sleep.
Behind the bend
Lost and found
Crush
Touch
Lust
Crushed
Appointed followed by the disappointed
at the masses
And her...
Fucked her
Now fuck her
Imperfections rapidly wash away debree
And left resides one
Count the hours by broken watch
Let's pray time stays this consistent
Slender leaks of moans
Stay stagnant in mind
Fair is for the free
And
Free just fucked fair
Who cares?
Done and done
Wake up with dreams
Sleep for reality
Serpent stings
In these walls
And when I fall
I'll fist the ground
And feel shame
Abused by amusing
Amused by abusing
Please just take me home.
I need sleep.
war.
Dark side passes though body
Rasp cough from whiskey
Fallen leaves set the path
And burn from cigarette ashes
It was beautiful.
Red wine is replaced with tears
Sparrows flock in unison
And tomorrow let's sleep
And today let's forget
Frosted glass has broken
Cracks in the most lovely way
Hearts bleed for attention
Attention was so last season
But we never remember the seasons,
As they all bleed into one.
Rasp cough from whiskey
Fallen leaves set the path
And burn from cigarette ashes
It was beautiful.
Red wine is replaced with tears
Sparrows flock in unison
And tomorrow let's sleep
And today let's forget
Frosted glass has broken
Cracks in the most lovely way
Hearts bleed for attention
Attention was so last season
But we never remember the seasons,
As they all bleed into one.
the burn.
Small hopes trickle off her lashes
She has disappeared
And for all the times she bled
For all the times she’s felt
She only burns
She’s punctual
Prissy, the kind of prissy
That tests your cunt
And she’s witty
Fast
The kind of fast
That makes you uncomfortable
And you are uncomfortable
So uneasy about the skin
You wear
That you laugh at her
And you judge her
Until you stop
Its
When you feel
The Burn.
She has disappeared
And for all the times she bled
For all the times she’s felt
She only burns
She’s punctual
Prissy, the kind of prissy
That tests your cunt
And she’s witty
Fast
The kind of fast
That makes you uncomfortable
And you are uncomfortable
So uneasy about the skin
You wear
That you laugh at her
And you judge her
Until you stop
Its
When you feel
The Burn.
new.
There are moments
Little fucking nonsense things
That take you back to places
Places where maybe you felt safe
Comfort
Maybe you thought it was everything you needed
Wanted
Gravitated too...
Oh, I know you think this is one
Of those self help books
You been mistaken
Never been good at helping myself
But what I do know
Is that everything
E v e r y t h i n g
I have done thus far
Every moment
With her
And her
Or that one
Is better with you
Because as easy as it is
For me to have stayed
Repetitive
Same her
Same one
Same story
Its harder
Because
You're actually nice.
Nice is new...
Really
Fucking
New
For
Me.
Little fucking nonsense things
That take you back to places
Places where maybe you felt safe
Comfort
Maybe you thought it was everything you needed
Wanted
Gravitated too...
Oh, I know you think this is one
Of those self help books
You been mistaken
Never been good at helping myself
But what I do know
Is that everything
E v e r y t h i n g
I have done thus far
Every moment
With her
And her
Or that one
Is better with you
Because as easy as it is
For me to have stayed
Repetitive
Same her
Same one
Same story
Its harder
Because
You're actually nice.
Nice is new...
Really
Fucking
New
For
Me.
last night's dream.
lets hide
you and i
they won't notice
(well maybe she will)
lets build a fort
in that park
you remember those stairs?
that winded down
(they were icy
weren't they?)
winter's gone
lost
ice has melted now
and it's not so cold
andi'm not so cold
lets sit
recap
not rewind
not pretend
lets go back to us
when i was weak
(when you were selfish)
i respected us more then
at least it was realistic?
the most realistic part
of last night's dream.
you and i
they won't notice
(well maybe she will)
lets build a fort
in that park
you remember those stairs?
that winded down
(they were icy
weren't they?)
winter's gone
lost
ice has melted now
and it's not so cold
andi'm not so cold
lets sit
recap
not rewind
not pretend
lets go back to us
when i was weak
(when you were selfish)
i respected us more then
at least it was realistic?
the most realistic part
of last night's dream.
the mail.
I will not recap my memories
like a some poor excuse for a queer trailer
We weren’t sale-worthy anyway...
Old fruit, no?
I got no background music for our reality
and real it was
and real its gone
and I accepted your invitations
to (here)
and (there)
but (nowhere) never came to the mailbox
knowing me I never checked the box
(sigh-
bill collectors, you should know...)
or maybe I was passed out
with last nights party
on my chest
and inner thighs
where my shame
lies,
where we used to lie
but I do know
that I decline
now
I’m sorry I didn’t check
my mail.
like a some poor excuse for a queer trailer
We weren’t sale-worthy anyway...
Old fruit, no?
I got no background music for our reality
and real it was
and real its gone
and I accepted your invitations
to (here)
and (there)
but (nowhere) never came to the mailbox
knowing me I never checked the box
(sigh-
bill collectors, you should know...)
or maybe I was passed out
with last nights party
on my chest
and inner thighs
where my shame
lies,
where we used to lie
but I do know
that I decline
now
I’m sorry I didn’t check
my mail.
creep.
She captivates me
Clenches my stomach muscles
Tight
Burning
I'm nervous
(I'm never nervous)
I studder
I watch her movements
I watch how she bends her straw
In her glass
(In this shitty bar)
And pretends its full
It's just melted ice
Drowning her glass
She acts tipsy
(I know she simply can't be)
I'm amused.
She knows it.
I dare not say hello.
That wouldn't make me cool.
Clenches my stomach muscles
Tight
Burning
I'm nervous
(I'm never nervous)
I studder
I watch her movements
I watch how she bends her straw
In her glass
(In this shitty bar)
And pretends its full
It's just melted ice
Drowning her glass
She acts tipsy
(I know she simply can't be)
I'm amused.
She knows it.
I dare not say hello.
That wouldn't make me cool.
alexander's film.
To think I'd been scared for so long
Maybe I was self involved
Maybe I was apathetic
Maybe I was a balloon
Wanting to burst
Want to fly
Wanting
Needing
I pause....
And we have seen
We didn't know
Or maybe we did...
But nothing was said
Felt
Learned
And now as the time has passed
As we have grown
After the slopes I have seen,
After the dim rose colored glasses were worn...
We have now noticed
The snow has melted
Rose's red has bled
Won't you sit with me in the grass?
Over looking the city
Like a film from long ago
Like how most of our parents met?
It was destruction that made us build childhood again
It was time that helped us re wind
You are part of a film I never noticed
And I'm happy I got to watch it
Again..
Maybe I was self involved
Maybe I was apathetic
Maybe I was a balloon
Wanting to burst
Want to fly
Wanting
Needing
I pause....
And we have seen
We didn't know
Or maybe we did...
But nothing was said
Felt
Learned
And now as the time has passed
As we have grown
After the slopes I have seen,
After the dim rose colored glasses were worn...
We have now noticed
The snow has melted
Rose's red has bled
Won't you sit with me in the grass?
Over looking the city
Like a film from long ago
Like how most of our parents met?
It was destruction that made us build childhood again
It was time that helped us re wind
You are part of a film I never noticed
And I'm happy I got to watch it
Again..
conclusions.
I wish I could resurrect my innocence,
Feel the stratosphere wrap my spine so tight...
I'd never loose my backbone
Once again, keep my thoughts quite, timid....
Yellow planes spin in my mind,
Its unfortunate I cannot see where they came from.
(Tranquility should stop being my enemy...)
I'm locked in some submersion between now and then
And now is now
And then, well, I cant remember then
(Must have been my years of drug abuse...)
What was once a fluorescent light,
Can barely flicker at all-
Water floods my eyes as stiff as a brick wall
Leaks through the cracks of my walls
(Solidarity was never my strong suit)
Where my desires have hidden.
I envision my future
My wife
My children
And I can't hold it together.
My anxious thoughts crumbled (to the point of white noise.)
Merging the blacks with whites like some unruly static
I feel its crunch,
Hear its clicks and clacks
Spinning in my ear
Like some obnoxious ballad
(I fucking hate ballads...)
And though I might feel the anxious sting,
Creeping
Buzzing
I refuse to soak in apathy's bubble bath-
So I'll remain dirty all the while...
And it’s the dirtiest if felt since being clean.
I stair in space.
Lunch break is over.
My breaks are over.
Feel the stratosphere wrap my spine so tight...
I'd never loose my backbone
Once again, keep my thoughts quite, timid....
Yellow planes spin in my mind,
Its unfortunate I cannot see where they came from.
(Tranquility should stop being my enemy...)
I'm locked in some submersion between now and then
And now is now
And then, well, I cant remember then
(Must have been my years of drug abuse...)
What was once a fluorescent light,
Can barely flicker at all-
Water floods my eyes as stiff as a brick wall
Leaks through the cracks of my walls
(Solidarity was never my strong suit)
Where my desires have hidden.
I envision my future
My wife
My children
And I can't hold it together.
My anxious thoughts crumbled (to the point of white noise.)
Merging the blacks with whites like some unruly static
I feel its crunch,
Hear its clicks and clacks
Spinning in my ear
Like some obnoxious ballad
(I fucking hate ballads...)
And though I might feel the anxious sting,
Creeping
Buzzing
I refuse to soak in apathy's bubble bath-
So I'll remain dirty all the while...
And it’s the dirtiest if felt since being clean.
I stair in space.
Lunch break is over.
My breaks are over.
broken shells.
my emotions were left buried at the bottom of the ocean
for longer than i had swam there
and have finally floated to the surface
who knows why now,
such gentle things have devoured the the rapid waves
waves we had once skipped as kids
but they now spread out like the broken shells
for the sand
for the commoner to pick up
and every shell is so uncommon
we are so uncommon
i miss you
and ask you my friend
do you feel lonely today?
as lonely as me,
as tired
as weak
you must feel what i feel
for we are the same.
oh how i hope you come back
thinking
loving
needing
and helping me pick up these broken shells
lets run to the pier
with buckets filled of them
and throw them back
where they belong
with the water
so we can skip the waves together again...
i love you.
-me.
for longer than i had swam there
and have finally floated to the surface
who knows why now,
such gentle things have devoured the the rapid waves
waves we had once skipped as kids
but they now spread out like the broken shells
for the sand
for the commoner to pick up
and every shell is so uncommon
we are so uncommon
i miss you
and ask you my friend
do you feel lonely today?
as lonely as me,
as tired
as weak
you must feel what i feel
for we are the same.
oh how i hope you come back
thinking
loving
needing
and helping me pick up these broken shells
lets run to the pier
with buckets filled of them
and throw them back
where they belong
with the water
so we can skip the waves together again...
i love you.
-me.
my death.
Down to the earth I fell with dripping wings
These heavy things won't fly
And if the sky so chose to catch on fire and burn the axis of the earth
I'd be fine...
That's why I prefer a sun less sky to the glittering and stinging in my eyes
And I'll let my end
Gleam in the dark crimson sea
As I sink
I am dead air
Barley floating there, breathlessly
When my reality dissolves
I open up my eyes
Everything is a shore-less sea
A weightlessness is passing over me
The waves, the stars, the universe,
Finally resting in my arms.
I am free.
These heavy things won't fly
And if the sky so chose to catch on fire and burn the axis of the earth
I'd be fine...
That's why I prefer a sun less sky to the glittering and stinging in my eyes
And I'll let my end
Gleam in the dark crimson sea
As I sink
I am dead air
Barley floating there, breathlessly
When my reality dissolves
I open up my eyes
Everything is a shore-less sea
A weightlessness is passing over me
The waves, the stars, the universe,
Finally resting in my arms.
I am free.
self-observant.
I wanna fight my infection
Cleanse myself down,
Strip myself of my vulnerability
I begin to feel like cracking paint chips on these walls
I wanna be strong enough,
To stay polished
Stronger then my viking ancestry
Delivering every move with confidence and ease
Yeah, good luck to me...
I want to step out of myself
So I can see the person I am forced to be
No one said I would be this way
I never retrieved the memo to feel this way
So what happens to me on this dreary day?
I'm uncertain...
I know I'm not alone though,
We have felt lost in this tunnel
Her and I
Its dark and it's wet and unsatisfying
And she's there
And I'm there
And she feels it
And I feel it
There's a draft that's creeping through
Small specks of light that pierces through the end of the tunnel
We say we like the scumbag-ness of it all
Even if it might just not be for us
And we know its not always for us
And it's wrong
We still stay put
We stay damp
Its a constant cycle for her and me
She loves me then I hate her
I love her then she hates me
I'm drawn to her
but maybe its not good for me to be around her
Maybe its wrong for me to call her
Maybe be its unnatural to want her
She's the drug I can't get enough of...
Yet- We were addicted to each other...
But we want be clean.
And though I can't say when I will choose to walk toward light
Or feel what it's like to be clean and secure
At least I know I'm not alone.
I hope you know you're not alone.
Thank you for that.
Cleanse myself down,
Strip myself of my vulnerability
I begin to feel like cracking paint chips on these walls
I wanna be strong enough,
To stay polished
Stronger then my viking ancestry
Delivering every move with confidence and ease
Yeah, good luck to me...
I want to step out of myself
So I can see the person I am forced to be
No one said I would be this way
I never retrieved the memo to feel this way
So what happens to me on this dreary day?
I'm uncertain...
I know I'm not alone though,
We have felt lost in this tunnel
Her and I
Its dark and it's wet and unsatisfying
And she's there
And I'm there
And she feels it
And I feel it
There's a draft that's creeping through
Small specks of light that pierces through the end of the tunnel
We say we like the scumbag-ness of it all
Even if it might just not be for us
And we know its not always for us
And it's wrong
We still stay put
We stay damp
Its a constant cycle for her and me
She loves me then I hate her
I love her then she hates me
I'm drawn to her
but maybe its not good for me to be around her
Maybe its wrong for me to call her
Maybe be its unnatural to want her
She's the drug I can't get enough of...
Yet- We were addicted to each other...
But we want be clean.
And though I can't say when I will choose to walk toward light
Or feel what it's like to be clean and secure
At least I know I'm not alone.
I hope you know you're not alone.
Thank you for that.
july 16th+18th.
I surrender my womanhood
Such vessels on my body have no importance to me
Not today
Not at this time
Been stripped of child baring hips
Can't hold a belt round this waist, much less, motherhood
And if you should choose to fight me for my womanhood,
I give it up as stated
For gender is the smallest fraction of my being
My freckles hold more value
If you should choose to take my flower,
My blooming flower that separates me from him or he
I'll stay strong
It is nothing but a machine anyway
A machine which radiated pleasure
But it’s all I hold close
Oh if u could come so close to my pleasure
You'd not know what to say
Take my breasts if you want them
If you so wish to cloud these glands with speckles of unwanted lesion,
They're yours
I'll be fine if they stay,
I'll be fine if they go...
And if they go, I’ll be stronger knowing we went down fighting.
If you're going to strip me of my womanhood,
Strip hard
Take the emotion,
Roll it up
And shoot my reality as hard as
A marble
If you want these things
Really work for it
One must work for what they want
If you’re going to leave me with anything
I request, my hands and feet
So I feel I have connection to my earth,
The rich soil between my toes
The softness of her skin touching mine
Leave my gentle touch,
To cares to her back
Her belly
Her brows
I’ll be okay knowing later on I don't need much,
But sad, if I can't feel a belly as soft...
Strip the things that you think defines me from he
Take my heart that bleeds for someone who has had it worse
Take my vulnerability that makes me the strongest weakling
Take my voice, though rasp and deep
Take my smell...
I am nothing but a person
A person in this world that isn't finished
I got plans you know
Plans that I never needed my womanhood for
But-
If you take these things,
These little insignificant things
If you so choose to take my womanhood,
Let my mother know first...
She'd really want to be the first to know.
Such vessels on my body have no importance to me
Not today
Not at this time
Been stripped of child baring hips
Can't hold a belt round this waist, much less, motherhood
And if you should choose to fight me for my womanhood,
I give it up as stated
For gender is the smallest fraction of my being
My freckles hold more value
If you should choose to take my flower,
My blooming flower that separates me from him or he
I'll stay strong
It is nothing but a machine anyway
A machine which radiated pleasure
But it’s all I hold close
Oh if u could come so close to my pleasure
You'd not know what to say
Take my breasts if you want them
If you so wish to cloud these glands with speckles of unwanted lesion,
They're yours
I'll be fine if they stay,
I'll be fine if they go...
And if they go, I’ll be stronger knowing we went down fighting.
If you're going to strip me of my womanhood,
Strip hard
Take the emotion,
Roll it up
And shoot my reality as hard as
A marble
If you want these things
Really work for it
One must work for what they want
If you’re going to leave me with anything
I request, my hands and feet
So I feel I have connection to my earth,
The rich soil between my toes
The softness of her skin touching mine
Leave my gentle touch,
To cares to her back
Her belly
Her brows
I’ll be okay knowing later on I don't need much,
But sad, if I can't feel a belly as soft...
Strip the things that you think defines me from he
Take my heart that bleeds for someone who has had it worse
Take my vulnerability that makes me the strongest weakling
Take my voice, though rasp and deep
Take my smell...
I am nothing but a person
A person in this world that isn't finished
I got plans you know
Plans that I never needed my womanhood for
But-
If you take these things,
These little insignificant things
If you so choose to take my womanhood,
Let my mother know first...
She'd really want to be the first to know.
the realist.
i am not about perfection
perfection is overrated
I like simple things
like when i can take a taxi,
instead of subway
sigh, though i should be gracious…i used to walk for miles
so the subway will do just fine.
i'm comfortable about knowing that I will never be able to save 3000 dollars in my bank account-when I've got 300
I smile.
i like when
i can treat myself to ten dollar shampoo
its a gift to myself every month
i can’t ever see a difference
the chick who cuts my hair says she sees the change...
i also know she likes to lie,
sickly it makes me feel better
i feel safe in my home,
i live in a shitty part of town,
but at least I can say it’s mine
i'm okay with the fact I will never be America’s next top model
i'm also okay with the fact I have a bigger butt now than usual
clean sneakers make me feel strange…
clean teeth make me feel amazing...
i have no desire to sponsor a child or an animal shelter
but, i consistently give the bum in union square a buck every day.
his name is Jeremiah, he claims he’s 21 .he looks about 50.
i have a tendency to put others before myself.
yes, i'm aware that's not always good.
and no i don’t want to talk about it.
i have a coffee and cig every morning.
i tell people I really want to quit
but I don't,
not now at least.
i take pride in having vegan friends,
who wear fur coats…
but I can’t say I trust them completely.
however, they do make a great dinner companions.
i wish I could say that million dollars would make me happy
i know that a million problems to solve at once does.
i’ve read many books,
i’ve finished very little.
i think it’s because i’m scared of endings,
or so my shrink says.
some people ask me what I want to do with my life…
I like to give complex answers for the words, “no fucking clue”and you know,
I’m okay with that too...
perfection is overrated
I like simple things
like when i can take a taxi,
instead of subway
sigh, though i should be gracious…i used to walk for miles
so the subway will do just fine.
i'm comfortable about knowing that I will never be able to save 3000 dollars in my bank account-when I've got 300
I smile.
i like when
i can treat myself to ten dollar shampoo
its a gift to myself every month
i can’t ever see a difference
the chick who cuts my hair says she sees the change...
i also know she likes to lie,
sickly it makes me feel better
i feel safe in my home,
i live in a shitty part of town,
but at least I can say it’s mine
i'm okay with the fact I will never be America’s next top model
i'm also okay with the fact I have a bigger butt now than usual
clean sneakers make me feel strange…
clean teeth make me feel amazing...
i have no desire to sponsor a child or an animal shelter
but, i consistently give the bum in union square a buck every day.
his name is Jeremiah, he claims he’s 21 .he looks about 50.
i have a tendency to put others before myself.
yes, i'm aware that's not always good.
and no i don’t want to talk about it.
i have a coffee and cig every morning.
i tell people I really want to quit
but I don't,
not now at least.
i take pride in having vegan friends,
who wear fur coats…
but I can’t say I trust them completely.
however, they do make a great dinner companions.
i wish I could say that million dollars would make me happy
i know that a million problems to solve at once does.
i’ve read many books,
i’ve finished very little.
i think it’s because i’m scared of endings,
or so my shrink says.
some people ask me what I want to do with my life…
I like to give complex answers for the words, “no fucking clue”and you know,
I’m okay with that too...
mind games.
my ex once told me " its whats inside that counts"
i've been a whiskey drinker and smoker for years
i'm scared to see whats inside
she also told me that i should quit
but my mother told me to never quit things
so now im confused
i answer questions with a question
apperently that's considered rude
my over-weight friend asked me if her jeans made her look fat,
i said yes.
apperantly that was rude too...
my boss once asked me who was the man in my relationship
i told him i don't fuck men so again, i'm confused.
he fired me.
guess he was looking for a different answer.
my aunt used to tell me that i should be honest
then why do i always get in trouble?
my aunt also used to tell me not to splat paint on the walls
then why are people getting paid to do it?
i buy matching sneakers with my father
we think its cool
when i was 12, a classmate said it was gay
very confusing.
my mom likes to drink wine and take pills.
my sister too..
i don't at all, but i "really need to find passion"
speaking of passion, my mother was also upset
i didnt want to see passion of the christ.
when i told her i didnt think that watching a religious death
while eating goobers and popcorn was stimulating
she slapped me.
yes, confusing.
some people seem to have all the answers.
my mentor said it was g-d
i said she was crazy
she was confused
and i never called her again.
i've been a whiskey drinker and smoker for years
i'm scared to see whats inside
she also told me that i should quit
but my mother told me to never quit things
so now im confused
i answer questions with a question
apperently that's considered rude
my over-weight friend asked me if her jeans made her look fat,
i said yes.
apperantly that was rude too...
my boss once asked me who was the man in my relationship
i told him i don't fuck men so again, i'm confused.
he fired me.
guess he was looking for a different answer.
my aunt used to tell me that i should be honest
then why do i always get in trouble?
my aunt also used to tell me not to splat paint on the walls
then why are people getting paid to do it?
i buy matching sneakers with my father
we think its cool
when i was 12, a classmate said it was gay
very confusing.
my mom likes to drink wine and take pills.
my sister too..
i don't at all, but i "really need to find passion"
speaking of passion, my mother was also upset
i didnt want to see passion of the christ.
when i told her i didnt think that watching a religious death
while eating goobers and popcorn was stimulating
she slapped me.
yes, confusing.
some people seem to have all the answers.
my mentor said it was g-d
i said she was crazy
she was confused
and i never called her again.
march 9th.
Subtle rain blows the wind chimes
I remain perched under the brow
Street lights flickering
Got no more cigs after this one
Coffee's become cold but its almost over
Sugar marinated at the bottom of the cup
A surprising treat
I sit here thinking about if I will remember this moment
Not the happiest but so happy I've made it this far
I ask the lady next to me if I can bum a smoke
Then I move to the next bench in small fear that she might talk my ear off
There's a fly stuck on the street lamp's flicker
I know its cause it feels at home
I feel at home
I remain perched under the brow
Street lights flickering
Got no more cigs after this one
Coffee's become cold but its almost over
Sugar marinated at the bottom of the cup
A surprising treat
I sit here thinking about if I will remember this moment
Not the happiest but so happy I've made it this far
I ask the lady next to me if I can bum a smoke
Then I move to the next bench in small fear that she might talk my ear off
There's a fly stuck on the street lamp's flicker
I know its cause it feels at home
I feel at home
delusions of granger.
Im gonna take those poor memories and rip ‘em up.
Throw them in the air like cheap confetti
Cause now im ready.
I think I’m ready.
Got no plans today. Today aint about planning…
I’m going to clack on the streets of Harlem
Tap dance my way to a destination
And I got no destination
But I know that’s better then what I had
Maybe I’ll take my top hat for a spin,
Cause I got no wheals
And I’ll spin it around my head
Smile at a stranger who’s been where
I’ve been
I’ll walk into a coffee shop and order
Something I’d never ordered
Like a tuna melt
But I gotta have extra pickles
I hope that’s okay with you…
I’m gonna flirt with the waitress
Her name’s Dasiy
She’s got a broken smile that needs fixing
And that just hits too close to home.
I’m gonna chat about the weather
She’s gonna tell me about being a single mother
Then I’ll eat
Surprisingly, I kinda like it
I’ll pay the bill by guessing its worth
Thrown a twenty on the table
And get back to the street
I can’t say goodbye
Today aint about endings
Off to the bookstore
Where I can’t figure out what I want to read
So I read the people around me
I’m pretty sure that one girl is horny
Or she’s got that one boy fooled
Sorta the prettiest things I saw all day
Or maybe I’m just a creep.
I pass this fortune teller
She tells me I’m gonna rule the world
And for 5 bucks,
When it will happen.
That’s when I know
It’s time to go home.
I given up giving
Now I’m about getting
Getting my shoes shined
And my shirt pressed.
I wanna impress
And for the first time,
Me.
Throw them in the air like cheap confetti
Cause now im ready.
I think I’m ready.
Got no plans today. Today aint about planning…
I’m going to clack on the streets of Harlem
Tap dance my way to a destination
And I got no destination
But I know that’s better then what I had
Maybe I’ll take my top hat for a spin,
Cause I got no wheals
And I’ll spin it around my head
Smile at a stranger who’s been where
I’ve been
I’ll walk into a coffee shop and order
Something I’d never ordered
Like a tuna melt
But I gotta have extra pickles
I hope that’s okay with you…
I’m gonna flirt with the waitress
Her name’s Dasiy
She’s got a broken smile that needs fixing
And that just hits too close to home.
I’m gonna chat about the weather
She’s gonna tell me about being a single mother
Then I’ll eat
Surprisingly, I kinda like it
I’ll pay the bill by guessing its worth
Thrown a twenty on the table
And get back to the street
I can’t say goodbye
Today aint about endings
Off to the bookstore
Where I can’t figure out what I want to read
So I read the people around me
I’m pretty sure that one girl is horny
Or she’s got that one boy fooled
Sorta the prettiest things I saw all day
Or maybe I’m just a creep.
I pass this fortune teller
She tells me I’m gonna rule the world
And for 5 bucks,
When it will happen.
That’s when I know
It’s time to go home.
I given up giving
Now I’m about getting
Getting my shoes shined
And my shirt pressed.
I wanna impress
And for the first time,
Me.
the meeting.
they met on the metro
she was on the phone
she was in awe
they met and they say
the world stopped
they met in the park
she was walking her dog
she was listening to music
they met and say
it was contagious
they met in a bar
she was slinging
she was drinking
they met and say
they just knew
they met in a letter
she was writing
she was reading
and they say
thank you
she was on the phone
she was in awe
they met and they say
the world stopped
they met in the park
she was walking her dog
she was listening to music
they met and say
it was contagious
they met in a bar
she was slinging
she was drinking
they met and say
they just knew
they met in a letter
she was writing
she was reading
and they say
thank you
the raindrops.
she was lost today
everyone knew
but she didn't know herself why
but she wanted to
she wanted to know
why,
for a second
the remote went rewind
and where she had gone
because she never used a remote
during the episodes of her life...
i tell you... i called her
i called her name out today
as she was crossing the street
mulberry street
with the wind in her hair
and her eyes
oh those eyes
and she looked at me
i know she did
and she gave me that look
that look no one- but herself would know
but i knew
i knew
the essence that she once brought to the world
and then was stripped from her eyes
today
but not stripped
like the time she embraced the rain drops
that summer
stripping off her shirt
and down to her bottoms
she sat in this warm summer rain
on a rooftop in brooklyn
i remember
how could i forget that day of the summer...
she tired counting every drop
because she said counting rain drops was important
because they needed attention too
who knows why she said it
but it sounded so good...
i've seen her travels
some good
some bad
and she never flinched
not for a second
like holding a martini in packed space
she would remain cool... calm
she never cared much
and when i saw on that street
today
i knew she was hurting
like that time when i was hurting
i dont miss that hurt
and you know, i wanted to run to her
and shake her
and tell her its okay
that she would count the rain drops again
i wanted to say
oh lovely, you'll count them...
i'll count them with you
but couldn't get the words out
she found beauty in the dumbest things
insignificant, little things
most people would laugh
i couldn't
i'd sit and listen and chuckle over them
they were warm. 'she was warm.
i wish you could have met her
and maybe tomorrow she'll be different
...she'll be counting.
everyone knew
but she didn't know herself why
but she wanted to
she wanted to know
why,
for a second
the remote went rewind
and where she had gone
because she never used a remote
during the episodes of her life...
i tell you... i called her
i called her name out today
as she was crossing the street
mulberry street
with the wind in her hair
and her eyes
oh those eyes
and she looked at me
i know she did
and she gave me that look
that look no one- but herself would know
but i knew
i knew
the essence that she once brought to the world
and then was stripped from her eyes
today
but not stripped
like the time she embraced the rain drops
that summer
stripping off her shirt
and down to her bottoms
she sat in this warm summer rain
on a rooftop in brooklyn
i remember
how could i forget that day of the summer...
she tired counting every drop
because she said counting rain drops was important
because they needed attention too
who knows why she said it
but it sounded so good...
i've seen her travels
some good
some bad
and she never flinched
not for a second
like holding a martini in packed space
she would remain cool... calm
she never cared much
and when i saw on that street
today
i knew she was hurting
like that time when i was hurting
i dont miss that hurt
and you know, i wanted to run to her
and shake her
and tell her its okay
that she would count the rain drops again
i wanted to say
oh lovely, you'll count them...
i'll count them with you
but couldn't get the words out
she found beauty in the dumbest things
insignificant, little things
most people would laugh
i couldn't
i'd sit and listen and chuckle over them
they were warm. 'she was warm.
i wish you could have met her
and maybe tomorrow she'll be different
...she'll be counting.
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